My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce. He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’